why can't love be easy?

October 2009 , almost a year ago is when this all started. I never expected to fall. I was ready to give up on boys with the way my summer had went with them. I remember the first day I meet him in school, and that night at mings after the football game I talked to him like it was nothing, maybe the liquor had some effect on that. And my friends they are crazy, they take me saying that he's cute and baggable to the point that I wanna bag him, smh.. but I'm kinda glad they did.
We started talking on the phone and walking together in school, the regular getting to know each other. Our first date was a group date, at the circus lol probably not the best place. But we made the best of it. I remember I we was leaving, we was some what play figthing, don't know how to describe it, but from that and turned me around and kissed me. At that point I coulda just melted in his arms.
But as time goes on things change, and so did we. We started fighting alll the time. After four months of talking we stoppped and he ended things. I felt like shiit, not even a tub of ice cream and so lifetime movies could help. During our time off I did sometimes I wasn't proud of, but hey everything happens for a reason. I started to date someone, just to see if my feelings would change but they didn't. During the relationship, he came back into my life. My feeelings did not change one bit, I had no dobut in my mind that he was the one I wanted to be with. So I ended the relationship I was in and we began to talk again.
I'll never forget the night he asked me out. We began to talk about us, he both agreed that we wasn't gonna get into a relationship unless we both were ready. We said we was ready. Then he asked me , May31,2010<3 I honestly was so happpy.
As summer came along, things didn't go as planned. We started fighting a lot again. He was because I didn't wanna share my past with him. I honestly feel that if my past is over, then its my past, no neeed to have it effect our future. But it did, big time. July31,2010 we broke up, once again I felt like shiiiit. But I couldn't let it effect me I had the biggest tournament of my life for softball, and my real grandmother was in the hospital. Everything hit me at once, the month of August 2010, I hated.
Right now, I just wanna be with him. He says he can't trust me, and I understand. But yet, can I trust him. I don't know how I feel. I'm stuck in between staying and moving on. This is so hard.