boys are just nonsense.........................

so my boy status is currently a joke. welll i guess only witt one boy. i though we were talking . & he asked my friend just yesterday if we was & she said yes. just when you think everythiing is perfect shiit falls apart. then last night i get a text from a girl ; talking about you talk to my boo. & they've been talking for mad long & nonsense that i justt didnt care about . bcus i stilll talked to my boy so he could talk to other girls justt not on the level we was talking ! but today was the festival & he told my bestfriend he wasnt gonna say hii to me bcus he didnt want me to yelll at hiim ? & alll i wanted to do was ask hiim. bcus if he wants to talk to the other girl & be witt her i'lll happily leavee ! but at the festival my little sister asked him why he hasnt talked to me & i guess he said he don't wanna talk to me ?!?!?! wellll if thats how he really feels, then all he gotta do is lett me know & give me backk my sweater & i'lll be on my motherfckin wayy. ugh boys aree justt nonsense ; i believe after thiis im done; welll i always say that . i justt need to find the ONE <3

D0ll$

I kinda felll liike my group of girls aint as close anymore. Like were still close but not all of us; I knew its summer & we gott our own thiings to do. But liike stop acting up. We all use to be mad close they were myy bestfriends. I just find it sad when I have to hear shiit that I should be hearing from them insteaf of other people. Well me and money have been chylling the most . me & nani are gonna chill tomorrow niight. then when mickey & isa gett back we need to have a d0ll$ niight. I thiinkk its tiime we do some catchin up & reunite. Schools coming so I know we'lll be back ass onee !


I l0VE MY d0ll$ ! <3

effort much?!

so I talk to thiis boy [ letss calll hiim boyfriend #1 ]; but he's been actiing up.
doesnt calll / textt liike he use too.
it kiinda gets on my nerves; he got the nerves to say he does ! smh. NO!
but on the other hand; i havee a handsome young man that would liike me [ letts calll hiim boyfriend #2 ].
i swear he's kiinda liike perfect ! he's cute ; drives ; works ; school is important;
football is hiis game not me ; does anything to make me happy ! <3 he kiinda makes me fall head over hiiilllls !

so alll last week i was siick ! smh not cool . but anyyways i was textin witt boyfriend #2 & i wass telliing hiim to bring me ice cream. but i was joking but serious. & homeboy really wentt & got it for me. it was so cuttee. he justt knows how too act. & he comes to see me ALL the tiime.

yett boyfriend #1 knocked me off my feet from the start. i really have no clue why or how. it kindd just happened. & everytiime i speak or see boyfriend #2 , boyfriend #1 is in the backk of my mind.

i guess im att a point where i need too pick ; butt its so hard bcus the less we talk the more i like for boyfriend #1 * &the more he treats me liike hiis princess, the more i start to like boyfriend #2. when i look at the effort it makes me thiink which one really wants me for me !

now where do we stand..... ?!

So I've been talking to thiis kiid for about 2&1/2 to almost 3 weeks noww. If I told hiis name I'd have to kiilll yuu. jk I'd just rather nott putt it out there. Welll I would have never expected to ever liike hiim nor us too be talking. it all started July12th,2o09. I went to a party, welll I was down the street since it was wackk. &he pulled up in a car wiit hiis boys. They came outt and said hiii. Gave me a hug and liike stayed inbetween my legs since, I was sitting. But we've been chiilll so I was liike wateverr. He had been drinkin, welll he was drunk lol. I remember hiim standing there and then turning to my bestfriend says......

HIM :" You knoww thiis is my wifee?"

HER:"Ohh really?

HIM: "Yupp were going to get married"

HER: " wow I never knew thiis. lol"

So, I though he was just joking seeing thatt he was drunk. Thenn that night he wannted to come see me att my housee. He was speaking to one of my girls and she told me. I was liiikee WTF ? she wass likee he liikes yuu! turnss outt he wasnt kidding whenn he said that earlierr. so I hadd to ask hiim for myy self. Well he didntt payy hiis phone biilll. we needed a wayy too speak so we started e-mailing from ourr phones. lol turns outt he really did liike me and has for awhiilee. I was in shockkk ! So he asked me watt i wannted to do aboutt it. and I said idk watt yuu wanna do ? He said he wanted to talk to me on some relationshipp statuss. So I said we cann tallk butt no promisees. That night he keptt me up tilll 4:30 in the morning and I had to be up for work at 4:45. My sleep wass greatt.

From there were started talking, and it turns outt I really liikee hiim too, and got me thiinking about us maybee having a good relationshiippp. We would chiill and justt have fuunn. Even though he abuses me lol jk he stilll manages to keep a smile on my face some how everytiime im witt him. Then last night something not so pretty happened. NO i didnt play hiim and he didnt playy me, because i know yuu are thinking that. But watt happened isnt importantt. But now im not suree where we stand. I havent spokee to hiim all dayy todayy, and I donnt wanna be the one to make the first call or send the firstt textt. Welll if he doesnt wanna speak to me anymore I understand and I'lll stilll respect hiim. But I really liike hiim and I hopee that everythiing turns outt for the bestt. Butt alll I cann do is hopeee. <3

tiimee to play catch upp.....

welll my summer started 4th of July weekend. I baptized my godson &then we had a party; myy i sayy i was knocked outt on my floor&dontt remember how i made it to my room. [ *thats watt drinkin&smoking does to yuu ]. Yet is mainly made up of softballl. its for my leagues AllStarr * team. Well we won districts and now were in the eastern regional tournmentt. yeaa were the shiit. After that i went camping wit my little sister&family for a weekend. I hadd OD funn witt my little sis, even though we barely had service. but we played volleyball, went in the hot tubb, meet some cutiies on the beach ;] , made s'mores, we went swimming to an island. &we even took the boat out and saw an oater. I had suchh a good time. besides the fact that i had a toothache :/

butt then that following monday July 20th, i left witt dynamy for a real camping trip ! it wasntt pretty. I couldn't shower, have my phone nor iPOD. The nice oart was I got to stay on an island for two nights which I probably wontt get the chance to do every again. The sucky part was loading and unloading everything into the boats and setting up tents. & also having to paddle down the coast of Maine in rushing waters ! yess im talking about the ocean. I was praying for Friday to come. my group was pretty chill and we made the best of it thou. when Friday came we were so happy to leavee. so were waiting for our bus to come, and then a limo pulls up & were joking saying thats our ridee home, then another pulls up . & outt comes the drivers that drove us there ! haha the limos were for us. it was BOMB. seeing there was only five in my limo. so it wasnt as smelly. So over all it wasntt thatt badd, i thought it would be worse.

in classsss.........

so im in class, 5th period tech. class & bitchhass Hankeyy aint here thank the lordd! no one is doinq work &ibett when he comes in tomorrow hes gonna bitchh, but its whattever. so iwent to the bathroom rite as class started& igot back &people are on the computer on www.fmylife.com iguess its a dumbb websitee abouttt people writinq about there lifess , kinda like blogger, but blogger is better. so i triedd twitter first but the fuckinq dumb school has it block. iwas madd. so itried blogger &it work (: & so i wrote this greattt blog. hahaha
&now comments from my classmates.
and david is ssooooooooooo cooooooooll!!!!!!!!!!
DEMI IS PERFECT
Amanda is the best!]

myy lifeee is fhluuckkkedd upppp.

ihavent wrotee on this thing in odeeee lonq. idk madd shiittt has just been goinq onn. between my house, school, softball,&justttt madd stuufffff. yett in the end no one wiilll understand where im coming fromm. so iguess this is just a good way to get it allllll of my chest. welllll my house is stilll packedddd. &ijust need to findd a wayy outt sometimessss. my parentsss have been gettinq on myy nervesssss soo dam muchhhh. &schooolll seeems like for the end of the yearrr wats upp wittt allll these projecttss? &imm ohh so gladdd the longer days are overr. thosse were killlinqq meee so muchhh. &noowww softballl everydayyy afterr schoolll? its justt like sometimesss ijust need to go homee &justt sleeppp. dont get me wrong ilovee it to deathhh; but sometimess im just no in the mood for itt. &thennnn boys are just so cofusingg tooo. like ijustt really wannnaa give up on them; ithinkkk imay tillll ifind the onee that showsss me differentttt. wellllll thatsss allll i had to get offfff my chesttt for nowwwww. byyeee niiiiiiiiiggggsss

girls. girls. girls.

they aint nothinq but walking drama. ya everyone talks shittt. but its get to a point were yu shouldnt say shit that yu dont know if its true or not. im so sick of girls, igot my dolls. but still now of days idk who to trust. niiigs make up shitt to make them look cool for "thinking they know something that aint true."&make up shitt so they can have a reason not to like yu, even thou the real reason is because they are jealous. well deadass im sick of all this nonscence. this shitt anit nothing but awaste of my time. idont wanna be part of it anymoree. like ya ihave my boys im mad chill wit&yes we flirt, but that dont mean we kiss, have sex, or etc. like if yu dont like it MAN THE FCK UP & DEAL WIT IT. its life yur not gonna get everything yu want & things aint always gonna be yur way. so dont make up shit because in the end karma is a bitch & it willl bitt yu rite in yur ass.

my houseee.

ughhh. i have no time to my self. my 2&1/2 yearold niece lives in my room wit me, every since my brother moved back in. not only did he come back, he came back wit a family. its like inever have a piece to mind by myself. iget woken up at 5 in the morning hearing "titi quiere leche." its a pain. ilove my brother&his family to death. but now ihave no where to go when ineed time alone. it sucks. iwait till 12 at night just to take a shower so iaint rushheddd. iguess now it feels like more like a home wit more family. idid miss my brother&kinda got tried of being the only child. butt yet this sucks too.

*my bestfriend (:

the famous p o ohnani.

ibett a million times a dayy yu see us walkinq

aroundd att Dohertyy. haha. we yes this is my

bestfrienddd.(*oneofafew) so it all startedd on

the softball fieldd. thats where we meet. then last year

we joined a travel team,&we became closer. then as softball

arose, we became even more closerr. iwould save that during my

past two highschool years we have became so close. she knows every

little detail abouttt me just aboutt& iknew just about the same about her.

she has myy backk on anything&it doesnt hurtt shes like 5 feett 11inches tall

haha. but lets rap this up. ilybabe forever&always.& we got so many memories

ahead of us. te amoo<3

me, myself, & i

wat do you do when you feel all alone? like you know you got someone there; but you push them away because they are not that special someone that you really want. you know its your fault you could have the best, but to you all you want is the love & the person you want it with is loving someone else. it brakes your heart; but yet they come & tell you how much you mean to them & all the pieces go right back together. my life is something like that, at times ifeel like its just me, myself, & i. they say "don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you love will leave you for the one they love." but wat do you do when your love did it to you first ?! do you wait & be by yourself or move on & hurt you and someone else. well yet again i feel like my life is something like this. but at the end of the day all i can say is fckk love because in the end i have is me, myself, &i. *

how my profile was createdd.

well i have a friend; actually one of my best firends that i call Money who started blogging yesterday; she told me that ishould start too. & iwas like why would i wanna do that. she told me it was just like myspace well not really but kinda. & its a good way to revel stuff. so i figured okay let makee one. seeing that i always having something going wrong in my life i have someway to express it other then to people. since im always writing about my life wat a better way then on a blogg haha. even thou people dontt probally caree. but ohwellll. (: